To Bikini or not to Bikini?

You can't help but stare when you see a giant pregnant girl. A giant pregnant girl on the beach. A giant pregnant girl on the beach, without any clothes on. Admit it, your mouth hangs open until she's walked out of viewing distance.

This summer is going to be a little sad for me, I'm 98% sure I'm not going to attempt to rock one of my teeny bikinis, for fear of getting stared at by the entire Jersey Shore. I was thinking about walking really far down the beach to a remote spot - where most people are too lazy to go - and laying out in my bikini there. But the other night I tried on one of my many bikinis, expecting at the very least to be able to fill it out up top nicely for once. SHOCK, HORROR, the thing barely covered any part of me. My little butt crack was even peeking out. Now, there's always the option of going out and - gulp - buying a larger size, just like everything else with a pregnant wardrobe. But that doesn't change the shock factor of the bowling ball belly, exhibited, wildly, in all its glory.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with girls who wear their bikinis while pregnant. You are super brave and confident, and your little baby probably appreciates the sun. As for me, I'm skipping the gawking audience and jumping straight into a sundress while I get my tan.